My saas, my Amma, isn’t my husband’s mom. I refuse to take it as that. She’s mine!
I have always had this possessiveness for her. It was after having my baby boy Zavi that I realised what she meant to me.
When I came back from the hospital I realized I could no longer breastfeed. Thanks to my Lupus that had already taken a toll on my health, postpartum blues struck. The only one who got me out of it was my mother in law.
She would make me eat and drink things to try and increase my supply. She tried everything she could to help him latch. Ultimately it all failed.
I was drowning in guilt at not being “good enough.” It was too much.
That’s when she took my hand and told me it was okay. As long as Zaviyar is fed and growing it doesn’t matter if he is breastfed or formula fed. Most importantly, I wasn’t a bad mom. I wasn’t useless. She made me feel normal again by being my strength. By repeatedly telling me that seeing me in that state was making her unhappy because she was so used to seeing me all chirpy and happy all the time.
One day when we were sitting having tea in her room she said “I want my happy Fiza back.” Her words struck a chord in my heart. It was then that I decided I wanted the happy Fiza back too. I wanted me back. And after making a lot of effort, I succeeded.
And that’s how my mother in law became my saviour.