To the husband who wasn’t sincere

To the husband who cheated,

It seems like my years sown have not reaped. My reliance shattered, my soul broken. Your jokes which made me crack up hard, now sound lame and repetitive.

Your face which brightened up my days is now a canvas of expressions of lie and betrayal. Your smirk is now meaningless and your voice ordinary.

I wanted our baby so desperately, but now I wait each month to know that I have another chance to evaluate you. Intimacy seems like a chore. Your care about my little needs. You just missed out on two. Sadly, they were my need for trusting and respecting the man I love.

What is love? Love is what keeps you going through the ups and downs. I know perfect marriage does not exist and neither did I ever urge for one. I just wanted my happy place.

For the time being, my happy place is not with you and not even without you and it is miserable. How do I bring it back? I am trying, I am trying hard. Like you could not control some things, being the “old us” is not in my control right now. I miss us. But more than anything, I miss myself.

In the midst of this journey, I lost my ever enthusiastic self. Thanks to you for bringing me closer to God by doing all what you did. It gave me lessons of temporary and permanent all over again and talking to God keeps me content. Waiting for the day when you gain my trust back or I muster up the courage to bid farewell to a relationship which once meant so much.

No one knows what future holds but I know that God will make it work out. ONE DAY, WE WILL BE HAPPY TOGETHER OR HAPPY WITHOUT EACH OTHER AND THAT WILL BE A NEW BEGINNING AND NEW BEGINNINGS ARE ALWAYS GREAT…

Sincerely,

Your Wife

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