10 ways to have sex after a baby.

1. Put baby to sleep If that doesn’t happen, move on to Step 2.

2. Sedate your baby. Try anything from Adol to Marijuana. Whatever works for you.

3. Find a babysitter. Hopefully a nani or dadi who wants you to have more babies and will support you in this cause.

4. Bribe your child with chocolates, junk, toys, phone, tablet, TV. Basically anything they will want to be attached to besides you. So you can attach yourself to husband. Do not feel guilty.

5. Pretend your baby is invisible and go for it while s/he stares at you both.

6. Have quickies. While changing diapers, cleaning up puke, feeding. Whatever sets you in the mood.

7. Wait it out. Wait for baby to go to school, graduate, move cities, get married, retire.

8. If none of that works. Give up. Kill your desires. Become a nun. Ask your husband to become a monk. Pledge yourself to a sex free life.

9. Die

10. Wait to be reunited in Jannah with spouse who you will gladly share with the hoors.

Disclaimer: This article is not to be taken seriously.

Featured Image: Huffington post.

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